Relayed telepathically from the Beer Guru’s ashram, next to The Temple of The Beer Brothers, somewhere in the Himalayas.

Welcome to The Beer Guru’s Guide website and to the first Beer Guru’s blog.

The book and the website are fundamentally about Beer as a path of enlightenment, the Way of The Beer Guru.

Some people think that a path of spiritual enlightenment through drinking beer is a joke. It is. But it is also serious. Follow it and you will see how it works.

Like many mainstream religions, The Way of the Beer Guru is founded on a heady mix of eternal truths, half-truths, blatant misconceptions, downright lies and a smattering of jokes.

“Anyone who doesn’t understand how a useful religion can be based on lies, half-truths, misconceptions and jokes will not understand the Way of The Beer Guru, either.�

The most important element of the Beer Guru’s path is fun. The pursuit of happiness. The Beer Guru and his followers like a laugh. Actually, we like a laugh and a beer. The two go together. Inseparably. Like politicians and sleaze. If you understand that, you are a suitable candidate to become accepted into the Beer Guru’s band of followers, The Beer Brothers.

The Beer Guru is not interested, at this stage, in attempting to enlighten miserable, moody feckers. He recognises it is a futile endeavour, like pissing into the wind. The Beer Guru is far more interested in his modest master plan for world domination.

Like so many spiritual gurus, he is flawed by his human nature and an ego the size of a small galaxy.

He knows that because of man’s innate love of beer and a natural tendency to worship it, adore it and hold it in spiritual reverence, he could become The World’s most influential Spiritual Leader of all time.

He won’t let it go to his head and fill his life full of palaces, private jets, limos and lap dancers. He hopes to bring unity, peace, love and enlightenment to the entire world through the mystic gnosis of Beer and his Campaign for World Peace and Brotherhood (sisterhood, too, girls).

Who knows, with your help The Beer Guru might achieve his overblown dreams. After all, it is an undeniable fact that if more people followed his teachings and discovered the beer of enlightenment, the world would be a happier and wiser place.

Also, everyone knows that after a couple of beers, they could put all the world’s wrongs to rights. No problem. Bish. Bash. Bosh. Just like that.

Followers of The Beer Guru unite ! Spread the word.

Even if he doesn’t become the most influential Spiritual Leader of modern times, he’d make a very benevolent despot.

“I could become the most influential spiritual leader of modern times, or a benevolent despot.�
– The Beer Guru